Grass is greener....or is it?

Sometimes, I try and remember what it was like before all this cancer stuff started. I remember the things that I would stress over like....

What's for dinner?

How am I going to get all this laundry done?

Why can't these daycare kids be picked up early?

Is J gonna have to deploy again soon?

Those, and most likely others, are the things I would worry about.

Now, I worry about that amazing man in the picture.

Is he going to feel ok after the next chemo treatment?

Is the cancer going to get worse?

How will it affect our children when he gets worse?

Do I have the courage to make it through?

Some people would say my life before cancer was easier but I don't agree. We are in the unique situation that we get to spend all of our time together as a family. J doesn't have to go to work but because of his years in the military he still is able to get compensation. Bud doesn't go to public school because we home school. Bubba and Bug will home school as well. We get to go places together like the zoo, OMSI, the beach. We can go swimming in the middle of the day if we want. We are a family and we get to spend our time as a family. I know that Bud is at the stage where he might not want to be with us soon but I'm holding on to him tight.

So, I have deceided that the grass is greener now. Even with all the health problems that J has to go through. This is my greener, my happy place, my home. Because home is where my family is.